How to Resolve Anything That Comes Up!

This blog post was prompted by +Michael Bacon's G+ post over here. This is a one-page article from my first issue of Dice Roll Zine (PDF at RPG Now or POD from Lulu) published in the fall of 2017. I hope you folks find it useful ... and at least a little bit funny. :-)

HOW TO RESOLVE ANYTHING

THAT COMES UP

What Else are Those Damn Ability Scores for Anyway?

In a tense game session, players sometimes forget that NPCs and monsters can be bargained with, not just slain. NPCs have bills, taxes, bad habits, and exes, too. Hired guards might flee suddenly when one of their own is used as Old One bait. Go figure. Your enemies may pay your torchbearer to stick his torch up your ass. When did Oddwick accidentally sell the mahogany chest (or was it the one with gold-pressed black iron locks?) with Blackrazor and the Eyes of the Overworld in it? Why is that weird jade monkey statue looking only at you? Is that giant slug with the bloody spiked tail going to offer you tea and directions or thump you? Did that tavern owner's potboy leave you fidgeting with an itch? Scratch scratch.

When stuff like this happens, either you or the Referee rolls 2d6 and adjusts the sum of the dice by one of your PC's ability score modifiers, whichever one seems right for the situation. Then check the result on the Resolve It! table below.

RESOLVE IT!

Roll	Result
2 or less	Catastrophically bad. It attacks, hurts, steals, hates, maims, attempts to eat, uses its worst, or otherwise fucks you up. Seriously. No chance of fixing. Hope you got a sharp sword or some hot spells of fiery doom.
3 to 5	Hostile or very bad. You're attacked or otherwise thwarted, hindered, harmed, or cleverly made to look like a chump. Too bad for you. If you want to recover, get creative or make some damn good rolls. Maybe get the Referee a beer.
6 to 8	Cautious or uncertain. Make another offer cheapskate, think outside the box, keep the negotiations going, play to your strengths, etc. Roll again if the Referee feels generous. Referee, you had a beer lately?
9 to 11	Friendly or good. Things go your way, your offer is accepted, or the NPC is willing to comply/discuss/help you out. Otherwise, the NPC thinks you rock on toast and quite possibly even likes your sexy smell and smarts. Or thinks you might taste good later, if hungry. Good going!
12 or more	Enthusiastic or extremely good. The monster or NPC goes far beyond your expectations to provide assistance or information. Perhaps you glean arcane or divine insight about something, real or imagined. Can you translate ancient hieroglyphs into six modern languages without a reference? Easy peasy, step aside lads, watch the professional work!

This table means to quickly resolve any minor issues and avoid messing about with obscure situational rules you never recall and probably have to look up during play. In fact, this table may spell the end of rules subsystems as we know them. Forever. Okay, perhaps not. Obviously, this table shouldn’t be taken too seriously—it’s also meant to inspire a ‘Rulings not Rules’ play style. This is only a game, after all. If you decide that a ruling is valuable to your game play, stick with it consistently in the future. No doubt, you do this already. Carry on with the fun!

How To Resolve Anything That Comes Up...

I'm sure you all have your own version of this. Here's mine...

HOW TO RESOLVE ANYTHING THAT COMES UP

AKA, what are those Damn Ability Scores for anyway?

NPCs and monsters can be bargained with, not just slain. They have bills and ex-wives too. Hired guards sometimes flee suddenly when smacked upside the head with a real flail that actually hurts. Go figure. Your enemies may pay your torch-bearer to stick his torch up your ass. When the Hell did Oddwick accidentally sell your spare chest with Blackrazor and The Necronomicon in it? Why is that weird jade monkey statue looking only at you? Did that tavern owner's potboy leave you fidgeting with an itch? Scratch scratch.

When situations like these happen or, more accurately, when they are about to happen, either you roll or the referee rolls (guess whose choice?) 2d6 and adjust the result by one of your PC's ability score modifiers, whichever one seems right for the situation.

This table is meant to quickly resolve any minor issues and avoid messing about with obscure situational rules you never recall and probably have to look up during play. It's not meant to be taken seriously, rather used as inspiration. This is just a game. If you decide that a ruling is noteworthy or valuable to your game play, try to stick with it again in the future to be consistent. No doubt because you're an old hat at it you already do this. Good, we're all on the same page, then? Keep calm and carry on with the slaughter ... er, fun.

GENERAL NEED TO RESOLVE SOMETHING TABLE

Roll 2d6 +/- Ability Score Modifier	Reaction
2 or less	Catastrophically bad. It attacks, hurts, steals, hates, maims, attempts to eat, uses its worst, or otherwise fucks you up. Seriously. No chance of negotiating or fixing. Hope you got a sharp sword.
3-5	Hostile or very bad. You're attacked or otherwise thwarted or hindered or harmed or cleverly made to look like a chump. Too bad for you. If you want to recover, get creative or make some really good rolls. Maybe get the ref a beer.
6-8	Cautious or uncertain. Make another offer cheapskate, negotiate more enthusiastically, ponder the situation some more, have a good dump, etc. Roll again if the referee feels generous. Ref, you had a beer lately?
9-11	Friendly or good. Things go your way, your offer is accepted, or the NPC dude is willing to comply/discuss/help you out. Otherwise, it (or he or she or whatever) thinks you rock on toast and likes your sexy smell and smarts.
12 or more	Enthusiastic or extremely good. Monster or NPC dude goes above and beyond to provide assistance or information you weren't expecting. You glean arcane or (virtually?) divine insight about something, whether real or imagined. Can you translate hieroglyphs into three languages without a Rosetta Stone? Easy peasy!

Bigger Even More Honking Random Monster Table [Wastelands]

Just a quick update to share today. I've expanded my Wastelands random creature encounter table to include more monsters (mostly from the Fiend Folio) and I folded the sublists (humanoids, giantkin, oozes, undead, and the like) into the main table.

I've also added in my other wilderness random encounter tables up front, which use some house rules like "scatter" dice as well as the excellent d30 Sandbox Companion (by Richard J. LeBlanc Jr. of New Big Dragon Games) for wilderness travel.

As with the previous version, the tables can be downloaded here (.pdf) should you good readers wish to use it as-is, or here (.docx) if you'd like to tinker and customize it.

Wastelands Big Honkin Random Monster Table

The Wastelands is a sandboxy hex-crawl style setting. As such, I needed to create a series of random encounter tables for the numerous geographical regions. I had originally drafted a d20-based table for each major region (Bandlands of Paj, Kreth Verdant, Steaming Jungles of Su'Janga, etc.), but soon realized that a d20 randomizer did not produce enough variation within each region to satisfy my personal Creature Feature Quotient--meaning I needed more monsters!

Artisan dice! https://www.artisandice.com/

So as I often do when pondering dungeon mastery-type things, I consulted the definitive work of Grand Master Gygax, the 1st edition DMG. Therein, as usual, I found my solution: d100-based random tables delineated by predominant terrain type. I have moved away from d100-based tables in recent years, mostly because they require a lot more fiddly maths and sometimes produce too many options for my personal tastes. However, for this purpose, and to satiate my CFQ--I wanted roughly between 20 and 40 possible random creatures for most regions--the good old d100 tables worked perfectly.

Thus, I reorganized my separate regional d20 tables into one big honking d100 table broken out into predominant terrain types (arctic, badlands, forest, desert, and so on) similar to what was done in the DMG. The table can be downloaded here (.pdf) should you good readers wish to use it as-is, or here (.docx) if you'd like to tinker and customize it.

The creatures on the table include a few of the regular suspects from the Monster Manual (it goes without saying that I mean the AD&D version--but I guess I just said, or wrote, it anyway!) But with this campaign setting I wanted to mine the other monster manuals for lesser-known and/or infrequently-used critters. For example, monsters such as the crysmal, kampfult, solifugid and xag-ya from Monster Manual II, and the caterwaul and skulk (and the humanoid aarakocra, grimlocks and quaggoths) from the Fiend Folio will turn up randomly in some areas of the Wastelands.

I also included the thanoi, or walrus men, from the Dragonlance Adventures book (and DL6 Dragons of Ice). Mostly because I like the idea of warrior walrus men. I never liked much from Dragonlance, but I always thought the thanoi were cool. Coo coo ca choo! Bad puns intended. ;-)

Warriors of the Red Planet & d30 Companions!

It has been entirely too long since my last post!

Just a quick note today to praise the coolness of my two (well, three) most recent OSR purchases.

Warriors of the Red Planet by Al Krombach and Thomas Denmark (see the WotRP blog) is a crisp, lean, old-school rules guide for games of the Sword & Planet genre. I've been reading through this the past couple of days and I can say without doubt that this 134-page booklet-sized paperback (color cover, black & white interior, perfect bound, available from Lulu) has me all jazzed up for leaping from airship-to-airship, slaying evil Black Martian baddies, ripping the blonde wigs off Therns and rescuing me a hot Red Martian princess. Excellent work gentlemen.

The d30 Sandbox Companion and d30 DM Companion by Richard LeBlanc are both fantastic accessories for the overworked and under-appreciated referee. These two saddle-stitched paperbacks (black & white interiors with mono-color covers, available in PDF from Drive-Thru and PoD from Lulu--see links above) weigh in at 52 and 36 pages, respectively, and provide a plethora of random tables (all of the cool d30 variety!) to generate damn near close to everything you could expect to generate during a game session--random ruins, settlements, NPCs, temples, monsters, weather, treasures, even entire adventures. You name it and it's in there. These two books will feature prominently in my next sandbox game and I highly recommend them both.

That's all for today, next up will be a post discussing the sandbox game I just mentioned. :-)

Racial Secondary Skills Tables

The Borderlands blog will be going dark for the next couple of weeks while my wife and I take a holiday down in the Caribbean. This past winter was particularly long and cold, so this vacation is long overdue and we will definitely enjoy soaking up the sun. And rum. :-)

Today I'm posting my goofy little racial secondary skills tables for Labyrinth Lord (or any old-school games). Basically, I've taken the secondary skills/professions and rather arbitrarily broken them out and added some additional ones based on the stereotypical notions of the "basic four" fantasy races. It's pretty vanilla stuff and its origin goes way back to my Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay days in the late 80s.

Enjoy, and see you all soon!


SECONDARY SKILLS

Roll on the appropriate racial table below to determine your profession or occupation before you became an adventurer. You know how to do the things associated with your profession and the referee will determine when your knowledge is helpful or beneficial to adventuring situations.

SECONDARY SKILLS TABLE: DWARF

Roll d20	Profession	Roll d20	Profession
1	Archivist	11	Locksmith
2	Armorer	12	Man-at-arms
3	Artisan	13	Mapmaker
4	Blacksmith	14	Merchant
5	Cook	15	Miner
6	Engineer	16	Runescribe
7	Gemcutter	17	Slave
8	Initiate	18	Soldier
9	Jailer	19	Stonemason
10	Jeweler	20	Weaponsmith

SECONDARY SKILLS TABLE: ELF

Roll d20	Profession	Roll d20	Profession
1	Animal trainer	11	Hunter
2	Artisan	12	Initiate
3	Astrologer	13	Jeweler
4	Blacksmith	14	Merchant
5	Bowyer/Fletcher	15	Minstrel
6	Cook	16	Sage
7	Furrier	17	Smuggler
8	Gambler	18	Soldier
9	Guide	19	Vintner
10	Herbalist	20	Weaponsmith

SECONDARY SKILLS TABLE: HALFLING

Roll d20	Profession	Roll d20	Profession
1	Animal trainer	11	Herder
2	Artisan	12	Jeweler
3	Blacksmith	13	Locksmith
4	Brewer	14	Merchant
5	Butcher	15	Militiaman
6	Cook	16	Miller
7	Farmer	17	Scribe
8	Gardiner	18	Smuggler
9	Gypsy	19	Tailor
10	Herbalist	20	Woodsman

SECONDARY SKILLS TABLE: HUMAN

Roll d20	Profession A	Roll d20	Profession B
1	Animal trainer	1	Locksmith
2	Artisan	2	Longshoreman
3	Baker	3	Man-at-arms
4	Blacksmith	4	Mapmaker
5	Bowyer/Fletcher	5	Mercenary
6	Brewer	6	Merchant
7	Butcher	7	Miner
8	Cook	8	Scribe
9	Farmer	9	Slave
10	Gambler	10	Smuggler
11	Gardiner	11	Soldier
12	Guide	12	Squire
13	Herbalist	13	Stonemason
14	Herder	14	Street thug
15	Hunter	15	Tailor
16	Initiate	16	Tax collector
17	Jailer	17	Torch bearer
18	Jester	18	Vintner
19	Jeweler	19	Woodsman
20	Leatherworker	20	Weaponsmith

Note: Roll d6. On a result of 1-3, roll d20 on Profession A column. On a result of 4-6, roll d20 on Profession B column.